Is your child(ren) moving out, ready to reorganize, or downsize?
As we age and our children get older, hard to believe, we know :D. They head off into their own future and living space. It can be both a time of great joy and great sadness. We may begin to start considering what to do with all the things we have collected over the years. You could be considering using the extra space for a home office, an exercise room, or the long-awaited craft room. Once your child(ren) moves out, we may be ready to reorganize or downsize our house.
To help with reorganizing and downsizing, some tips:
Before doing anything with the room, wait and give yourself and your child(ren) time to adjust. Things will not bode well if you start getting paint chips for that room even before your child(ren) has begun to head out the door. From their perspective, they may think you can’t wait to be ‘rid’ of them or for them to move. In truth, it might be your own way to adjust to the changes taking place. Neither of you is wrong in your feelings or how you are coping with these major changes. It’s all about perspective and coping techniques.
One of the first things to consider is how you are approaching these changes. Finding a time to speak to your child(ren) about their rooms and what your ideas are for them. Consider the timing of this conversation as well. The first week(s) or month(s) of them moving out, might not be the best time as they are still adjusting to this new normal for them.
Secondly, consider what you truly do want to do with that space. If you are a single parent, do you want to rent the rooms out to someone else? Allowing you a chance to both make some money AND may be giving you some companionship. Are you and your partner squeezed tight in your current space? Do your parent(s) need some extra care and moving them into your house allows you to keep an eye on them?
Thirdly, where are you putting all their “stuff”? What are they keeping? Are you offering anything not being kept to charity, selling it on Kijiji, garage sales? When you offer to keep their stuff, make sure you set some boundaries around it. Keeping all their school work from Kindergarten to Grade 12, maybe a nice gesture but is it realistic? If you have art projects still that you don’t have hung on the walls, consider taking photos of it all. Create some collages on Canva, so you and they can have it all.
Lastly, going through this process at a slow and steady pace. Once you begin to reorganize and downsize, go slow. Don’t overwhelm yourself and them with more changes all at one time. Give everyone time to adjust and process their thoughts/feelings around the changes. I remember after my grandpa died, my grandma had us repaint the whole house, get rid of things she didn’t need/want any longer and had me move in all within a few months of grandpa dying. The truth was, once she stopped being so busy, the grief of everything hit her all at one time. There are no time limits unless you have to move, so going at your own pace and not rushing, is good too.
If you are having some trouble adjusting to your children moving out, your new routines, the changes occurring, or if the thought of reorganizing and/or downsizing is creating some concerns for you. We offer Wellness Coaching and this Monday, we have a special guest joining us for our Monday Night Tea. They will be there to answer your questions about organizing and downsizing.
Note: We are not Therapists, Registered Counsellors, Psychologists, and or Medical doctors. We offer support groups and services that help complement traditional therapies and medications. At no time are we providing a diagnosis or making medical recommendations. It is always recommended you speak with a Health Care Professional before making any changes.